"The name of the victim is being withheld pending notification of the next of kin," says the newspaper or TV anchor...but really, there is much more to it than that.
One of the most difficult jobs a police officer ever does is to deliver a death notification. Telling a person their loved one is dead, experiencing that reaction, dealing with the trauma, and answering the inevitable questions are elements to the notification process that no officer who has done this ever forgets.
It is most important that family members hear it from a representative of the official agency, and not from a roundabout source such as the media.
A death notification should be made in person whenever possible, but truth be told sometimes that doesn't work out. Locating family members in a timely manner can be very difficult, and with our mobile world, family members are often hundreds of miles away.
When a death notice has to be made in far away jurisdiction, then ideally, the local law enforcement agency would make a proper notification. Sometimes all a family member gets is a notice to call the police in Greenville NC.
There is no sugarcoating a death message. The officer delivering such a notice must be clear and straightforward, but compassionate. The officer needs to have detailed information about the incident and be ready to anticipate all manner of questions and emotions. The officer will stay with a family and assist them to summon other family members, clergy, or offer whatever logistical assistance possible in the situation.
Speaking from experience, it is a chilling thing to tell parents their son is dead: Something an officer never forgets. It is also a reminder that our profession is one of service and compassion, as much as enforcement.
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